New Beginning?
Saturday, February 20, 2010
I had initially wanted to blog on the new year,but better late then never yah?
What's new year without a resolution to begin with?I had mine the previous years as well.But I always failed to fulfil it.It's just like a trend to have resolutions without wanting to put it into actions.For me,at least.Take 2009 for example,I said I decided to not skip sch anymore.It was just empty talk.I did it again.And it only made me feel bad about myself.As though I'm not trustworthy,I cant even do what I promised myself and It bugged on my conscience. So from now on,I'm not gonna make any promises anymore.
A few weeks ago, I had a dream.Which I could not recall the exact event that took place but when I woke up, it was as though I had been slapped out of my sleep. I was dumb struck for a few minutes before I thought I was sane again. I couldnt get back to sleep at all.Ironic as it may sound but my mind ran through a whole series of events in my life,big and small. Tears just keep rolling down.I was totally overwhelmed by it.
I couldn't stress this enough to anyone who by chance happens to read this. Treasure your family. It may sound cliche. But I meant well. The loss of my father was by far the hardest and still are the biggest blow to my family. I can never explain the pain in my heart. Some have shared that they understand how it feels since they have had deaths in their family before. But again,you can never,never understand the feeling unless it's your own father. Though I sincerely accept their kind thoughts and words. It is just not something that can be compare with.
In less than a month's time I will be turning 21.A rather big number for someone like me.Truth be told,I was expecting mother to celebrate it.My late father used to say "We'll celebrate your 21st birthday
besar-besar ok?"Maybe that was the reason why I am hoping for something.But Mother blatantly told me, she chose not to.I was upset but I've come to terms with it. She have her reasons.I'm sure she do.But she has promised me our traditional birthday celebrations;celebrate outdoors with a simple family meal. I'm fine. :)
Ahhhh...the time has come..For me to sleeepppp...
Good Night.
9:42 AM she likes character
